I had to weigh it all…see where my heart was after a long, busy semester. I am so privileged to be where I am right now. Working a great job, growing in knowledge, part of a loving Church family, enjoying being a wife. All of this is good. But somewhere down the line this last half, I grew weary. I grew weary of pushing things to the back burner and so God changed my perspective of what’s important.
I stepped back and pondered what I wanted to be doing with my life right here, right now. God does that. The things we think are important at one point become less important in light of a heart shift. He causes our hearts to shift with the tide. Going to and fro in his perfect timing. I believe I needed to have a semester of learning, digging hard into the books, pushing myself, expanding my knowledge and having something to focus on. But that same focus has become even clearer as I think about less time in the books and more time with living breathing souls. This is where I’m at. Saying no to one thing to be available to say yes to more things.
Now, with a more open schedule and a more directed focus of home, church, and work, I feel simplified and directed. I want to put my knowledge to use. I want to take charge of my home. I want to support my husband in his crazy busy schedule. I want to be able to commit to service at my local church. And maybe one day I will come back to some of what I am saying no to right now, but what I am leaving off for now will make room for more. And all of this is good.