Marriage Advice From Mom

We planned, dreamed, worked, and occasionally bickered about wedding plans for months as Mother and Daughter but more like best friends.

The hard work and fun times finally paid off. July 9th was a most beautiful, God-honoring, worshipful, joyful day.

Then it was time to leave. It hadn’t hit me til the end of the reception. I just remember being ushered out. Matt was smiling and saying goodbye, and the floodgates known as my eyeballs let loose! I was leaving.

I hugged my bridesmaid’s necks, clung close to a few. And then I hugged Mom and Dad last. That was hard. I even made sure my Dad’s eyes were the last I saw as we drove away. I was officially leaving the nest.

It didn’t take me long down the road for my ever tender, new husband to speak just the right words of encouragement. He has always been able to do that for me. He’s my “Gift from God”– Matthew.

Since being out of the nest for the last month, I have caught myself saying many times, “I am more thankful now for my Mom than ever before.” There is good reason for that.

One word of advice she gave during all the planning has stuck with me as I came to her distraught about the prospect of having to plan a grocery list and meals. She told me, ” Don’t think that you have to plan all these lavish meals to please Matt. He already loves you. Keep it simple.” That’s my mom…the “keep it simple Queen”. I have been so appreciative of that comment ever since.

I am definitely not one to keep it simple. I have found myself dreaming up all kinds of crafts I can do, sewing projects I can work on, delicious make-ahead meals that I can whip out on one Saturday and have in the freezer ready for months of meals in advance. I have a lot to learn from her. But, I have also been reminded that it took her a while to figure it all out too. Just ask her about Kool-Aid and pot-roast sometime. 🙂

I have quickly sensed the pull to become “Super-Wife” and I know that one day I will feel the tug to be “Super-Mom”. It’s all over Facebook. It’s all over blogs. It’s all over Pinterest (a new guilty pleasure).

The fact is that every single woman is uniquely gifted for and uniquely situated in a family. We must find our worth in the Lord and let it shine doing the God-given things we are to do for our  God-given family.

I am so thankful I have my mom to call when I am overwhelmed and nearly in tears before my first big Walmart shopping trip as a married woman, trying to plan meals that will be appetizing, healthy, and budget-conscious. She has helped bring me back to reality.

Then there are things that I am having to learn on my own with the help and support of my loving husband…things like…remembering not to pour grease down the sink (with no disposal) so that three hours later I don’t come home to a clogged and unusable sink. Also, remembering to bring the Walmart gift cards (which we have been living off the last month with no paycheck) with me to the grocery store as I find myself in the checkout aisle scrambling to pay for our groceries. And not to mention remembering to ask how much I would be getting paid at my new job that I excitedly and hurriedly accepted over the phone. (I still don’t know, for the record. It’s too late to ask now unless I want to look like a fool!)

Another thing Mom said when discussing different aspects about marriage is, “we have our whole lifetime to figure it out together.” That’s the beauty of marriage.

I have recently started becoming involved in a seminary campus wive’s ministry. Last night I went to an event where our seminary president’s wife spoke about their journey together. She was so candid and real. I loved it. And I came away with just a sense of humility and a desire to find myself more on my knees about this whole marriage and ministry thing than ever before.

I can’t do it alone. My mom is not the woman she is apart from the God she serves. Neither am I to continue to become the woman and now wife that the Lord intends me to be apart from Him.

It is His continual gospel and grace that refines, molds, and transforms me. Thank you Lord for this undeserved gift of all gifts.

And, thank you Mom for keeping it simple, staying true to yourself, and managing your home well.

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10 thoughts on “Marriage Advice From Mom

  1. So beautiful, Emily! Love that you are letting your sweet self come out here in bloggy form. Your mom is wise and EVERY single one of your funny learning experiences… sounds just like me. 😉 We are really two peas in a pod in that way.

  2. Fantastic post! You are a gifted writer! 😉 Your mom is an inspiration to me, that is for sure. She does an amazing job at keeping Christ at the center of everything…and I know that you are following in her footsteps. Your moments of honesty will encourage others in their marriages. There’s nothing like that “ahh” feeling of “I’m not the only one!!”

  3. Dearest Emily, I have to come to be so fond of blogs recently (you can read mine sometime alifeinchrist.tumblr.com), but following yours is just so special. As I start to think about marriage and becoming a woman of God, this blog has been an encouraging first step. Keep blogging sister! God bless 🙂

  4. “And her children will rise up and call her blessed!” Can’t write…for the tears…there now…get a grip old man…thank you sweetheart for your thoughtful and beautiful words.
    ~a thankful husband & dad

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